Home Economics

I always pretty much knew when I would start teaching my little guys how to cook. My parents had a plan, and I adopted it.

When my mother got married, she was 17. She never had to do any housework, growing up, much less cooking. You know those movies where the girl gets married, with the idea of blissful home-making that comes crashing down around her in the first couple of days, and you finally see her sitting on the floor sobbing because she hasn't a clue what she's doing, and the last straw is dinner is on fire? Yeah, that was my mom.

My dad, on the other hand, had been taught by his mother when he was young. He knew everything there was to know about shopping, cooking, keeping house, et cetera. He wasn't so great at "ordinary" dinners (like timing the beans to be done at the same time as the ham), but with fancy one-dish dinners, like spaghetti, he excelled. So, dad taught mom how to cook.

So, when they had their many children, they knew for certain that they weren't going to let the girls go through what my mom did. They were going to learn to cook, and cook everything well. And just in case the boys found inexperienced wives, themselves, the boys had to learn as well. Each child, when they turned 9, was taught how to cook. I have fond memories of making pancakes all by myself, cooking my first fancy dinner, burning myself on the stove for the first time... and we have photos of my younger siblings during their first forays in the kitchen.

Today, all 8 children are excellent cooks (if I do say so myself). The girls' husbands or "significant others" were all pleasantly surprised that their new wife or girlfriend could handle herself well in the kitchen, and could cook anything she wanted. Even better, the boys' wives all found, to their immense delight, that their husbands not only could fend for themselves if need be, but often was the better chef, and indeed enjoyed cooking meals for the family. The older two boys had to teach their wives how to cook, as they were just as inexperienced as our mother.

So, I always planned to teach my boys to cook when they turned 9. They've been helping me in the kitchen all their lives, and have made numerous batches of cookies and brownies. I handled the oven part of it.

I did not take into account how eager my sons were to learn, however. So, even though NJ is only 8, he is learning to cook. Hand in hand with the cooking lessons are lessons in how to select fresh foods, plan ahead for meals, and not get fooled by advertising or sales. IC is just as eager, but he is only 6, so he can't do as much. He hovers over us while we cook, soaking up information, and begging to be allowed to do various little things. I let him do whatever he can, and he's happy with that.

Yesterday, NJ cooked his first dinner, albeit not entirely on his own. Help comes first, then supervision. We're in the "help" stage. He made grilled pork chops, rice, green beans, iced tea, and the little crescent rolls that come in a can. (Some times you have to take the easy route so as not to get over-whelmed.) He was so proud of himself; how he lit the grill by himself and cooked the pork chops, while also managing to help with everything else.

Today we'll be going to the grocery store, so he can learn how to shop, and he can choose what foods he'd like to try cooking next. He's excited to learn, and to help. Already he's looking forward to the day that I ask him to "go cook dinner" and I don't have to help.

I hadn't even thought about that aspect of it, and I hadn't realized how much fun it would be to teach them to cook. I just thought I was going to be equipping them for the future. I guess that's one more way that teaching your children is a blessing. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything.

History Can Be Thrilling!

Summers here are extra busy. During the "school year", we are usually found at home with our noses in a book, or doing some craft project or whatever have you...

But once "school lets out", we are off and running, hither and yon, to the point that my boys seem to think we must be doing something special each and every day. And they're not far from correct.

We don't take off for the summer months, like most people. We are year-round educators. Our approach to lessons during the summer months, however, is radically different from the rest of the year. It's beautiful outside, and we don't like to be cooped up. So, we take a lot of field trips, and do a lot of family activities together. We also delve far more deeply into just a couple of favorite subjects, and allow ourselves time to really enjoy learning everything about them.

The particular favorite this year is Ancient Greek History. We began studying the Ancient Aegeans. I suppose we should have started with Egypt... but the boys wanted to learn about the Greeks and Romans. I will have to make time later to back up to the Egyptians. They are, indeed, interesting; they just didn't "fit us" right now.

We are primarily using stories. Since no study of ancient Greece could possibly be complete without learning about their myths, gods, and goddesses, they are included. The most interesting thing that I have learned so far was that, apparently, the Greeks were a primitive people, dwelling in caves, before the Egyptians came along and taught them how to build and farm. The Greeks, being highly intelligent, caught on easily, and improved greatly on what they had learned. A series of catastrophic events killed off so many of the Greeks that they no longer had the knowledge they had possessed previously, and so they forgot who had built the impressive walls and such, or how farming began. This, put together with their Egyptian-born tendency to worship a number of gods, led them to make up a large number of myths attributing their own ancestors' accomplishments to the creatures, gods, or goddesses of choice. (It appears that answering a question with "I don't know" was not an option for them.) Many of the Greek myths had at least a grain of truth to them. It is fascinating to explore the stories and try to figure out which parts were probably true.

We use one actual book: Famous Men of Greece by John H. Haaren and A. B. Poland, but you don't even need to buy it. Being a very old book (which, when it comes to teaching ancient history, is a very good thing) you can find it, complete, online - FREE!

So far, this is my favorite home-school resource: Heritage History - Putting the Story back into History. You probably won't find a better source for free history lessons. This is far better than any dry, "old", text-book history. It is a site devoted to making history interesting for children, by taking a story-based approach, which technically pre-dates the "textbook" approach. My favorite part of the site is the books, themselves. I knew about this site from having researched the history of Britain. Did you know that the history of Britain is "thrilling"?

My boys studied British history through this site alone. Imagine your children being so excited about studying history that they beg you to read a 3rd story after you just told them to go play. Imagine them abandoning video games in favor of acting out the history stories in the back yard after school. Imagine them telling all of their friends and relatives, and even a few strangers all about the thrilling things they learned in history this week. Imagine them learning truths such as "he, who does not learn from history, is doomed to repeat it", naturally, from observing history, as opposed to having to be "taught" it by rote. Imagine your children enjoying history so much that they remember everything you taught them. I say these things from experience.

So, when it came time to study Ancient Greece, I knew right where to look. We are currently reading Famous Men of Greece (mentioned above), along with "The Story of the Greeks" by Helene A. Guerber, and "The Story of Greece" by Mary Macgregor. We use all three because they are each written differently, each having its own strengths and weaknesses. If there are story overlaps, before each lesson I look over the three books and choose which one (or more) I will read from for that particular story.

In addition to these online books, we also borrow prodigiously from the library. I can't possibly list all that we've borrowed. But a few that really stood out were the "Primary Sources of Ancient Civilizations: Greece" series by Melanie Ann Apel. They cover Art and Religion, Economy and Industry, Home Life, Land and Resources, Politics and Government, and Technology in ancient Greece, all in an easy-to-read format (I'm guessing 3rd grade?) with bright photographs of artifacts. There is also "Kids in Ancient Greece" by Lisa Wroble. Its format is slightly easier, perhaps a 2nd grade level, and contains photos and lovely drawings. We also used a few books like the "Eyewitness" series, which contain a myriad of pictures and facts. Eight-year-old NJ is currently reading "Theras and His Town" by Caroline Dale Snedeker. I have been told it is a 5th grade + reading level, but NJ reads it rather easily, so perhaps other young ones could manage it too.

To round out our study of ancient Greece, we borrowed books on "The Buildings of Ancient Greece", including one with that very title, by Helen and Richard Leacroft. I particularly enjoyed the fact that it contained cut-aways and highly detailed drawings of how the buildings were constructed, rather than just an overview of the finished product. We also studied their art (couldn't leave that out, now could we?) by online studies, and a couple of delightful craft books. The website we used (aside from Google Images) is called Art History Resources on the Web, and it can be used just about any art history study. There is no "lesson plan" there, just a well-laid-out site filled with information and photos of art of all kinds, arranged according to time period and society. It is connected to "Wikimedia Commons" (off to the right side, once you choose a period or society to study) which contains a wide array of art, organized into easily navigable groups. Lovely things!

The craft books were a big hit with my sons. We have two, both borrowed, but I enjoyed one so much that I have purchase it from Amazon.com. The first book is called, "The Crafts and Culture of the Ancient Greeks", by Joann Jovinelly and Jason Netelkos. I haven't bought that one - yet. We are only using 3 of the 8 projects in the book... but it will still be worth the $5 or so it will cost to get it "used". The projects include a Trojan Horse, Tragedy/Comedy Masks, an Abacus, Jewelry, Black and Red Pottery and a box modeled after the Parthenon. It is arranged chronologically, which makes it handy for the study of Greek art history.

The second book is less sophisticated than the first, but it has so much that little children can do that it has become a favorite book in our house (at least while we study Greece). It is called"Crafts From the Past - The Greeks" by Gillian Chapman. (I wouldn't get the "Chik-fil-a" version... it was just the only one that had a picture.) Unfortunately it is not arranged chronologically, but that is the book's only shortcoming. Of the 14 projects featured, we are only doing 8... but they are really nice. The crafts are representative of not just the Greeks themselves, but also the Aegean peoples from whom they descended. There are Cycladic sculptures (oddly, the last project in the book, instead of the first), and Minoan bulls (oh, so adorable!). There is a "fresco" (ok, so you have to wait until it's dry to paint it, but it's close enough) modeled, quite nicely, after the real thing in the palace of Knossos. It has labyrinths and terra-cotta toys, masks, helmets, and "pottery", and so on. All will fit perfectly into our art history studies. All we need now is a Hellenistic sculpture a little kid can do, and we are set for the summer! Okay, yeah, that last one is a stretch... that's probably why it was not included in the books. I think I'll have them try their hands at soap sculpting. It's as close as we will be getting at this age.

As if all that wasn't enough... we do go on! We are also reading a book about modern Greece, just to get some perspective. It's called, "Welcome to Greece" by Meredith Costain and Paul Collins, And, we're trying some Greek food. No, it's probably not ancient Greek food... but much of that has gone bad or been eaten by now. :Snicker: So, we'll make do with Souvlakia (lamb kebob sandwiches on pita) and Spanakopita (spinach pie), and of course, Baklava. (Yum!) We tried greek yogurt this morning. I am in love! The boys... not so much. I will be eating a lot of that in the future. They will be making faces at me while I do.

Aaaaaand... we are also watching DVDs about Greek history. Schlessinger Media has a whole heap of completely awesome DVDs; we can't get enough. They are wholly out of our price range, but the library has plenty. The history ones are "Ancient Civilizations for Children". There is one on the Aegeans and one on the Greeks. There is also a set of physical science ones that we love... but that's for another post.

To top it all off... is a part my boys don't yet know about. I prefer that the things my children study mean something to them; that they have a connection to them in some way. In our study of Britain, we were studying our ancestors (Henry IV was a grandfather), and so the connection was automatic. With Greece, it's not so easy. So, I went onto eBay, and found some ancient greek coins, from 500-400 BC, to give them as gifts, or prizes, if you will. They weren't all that expensive, in the scheme of things; $20-30. If I had a classroom of 30 kids, there is no chance of doing this. But with only 2 children to buy for, it was a little thing that will mean a great deal to them. True, I'll have to oversee them to keep the 2500 year old coins from being lost or laundered, but I already have to do that with their shell and rock collections.

In total, our entire "history course" and "art history course" cost about $70, including the coins and art supplies... not bad for an entire year for 2 children.

I'd love to hear what you are doing to make your lessons exciting. Please comment. I'm always open to new ideas.

The Fathers' Lesson

In my previous post, I laid out the lessons that mothers teach their children. While many mothers may not be aware of the lessons they teach their sons and daughters, for the most part, the idea of being "the world", to their children, would not take most parents by surprise. However, I would wager (ok, not really, I don't bet, ever) that very few people are aware of the lesson that fathers each their children.

Now, considering the great duty of mothers in raising up their children, it may appear that the father's only roles are those of protector, provider, and leader. Now these are heavy enough responsibilities, all by themselves, but God gave men a far greater task. He gave fathers just one lesson to teach their sons and daughters... can you guess it?

What do fathers teach their children? What one lesson do children learn from fathers, even if they never even meet them; even if they are absentee, or "workaholics", or devoted stay-at-home-ers? If you ask people what lessons do fathers teach, you might get answers like, "caring for their family", "work ethics", "morals", "how to be a man", "how to choose a husband", or even possibly, "how to be a good Christian"... but none of these are THE lesson.

No, the answer is far more significant. Look to God for your support, men, so you are not crushed under the weight of this responsibility. Through His help is the only way you can hope to teach this lesson well.

Men, while your wives represent the world to your children (and who they are in it), you representGod. Yes, as imperfect as you are (and aren't we all?) you are daily teaching your child who God is. Even an atheist father is representing God to his child. You can't help it. You can't avoid it. You are representing God to your children. Right now. Yesterday. Tomorrow. In everything you do, in ever choice you make, in every word you say, you stand in God's place in your family, showing your children who God really is. The question is, are you representing Him well?

Now, this is in no way saying that you are expected to be perfect, to show that God is perfect. It suffices to say that God is perfect, and we are not. What you are modeling is God's character, and His relationship with your child. Remember that God calls Himself our Father. We are His children. It follows rather easily then, that He would use earthly fathers to represent Him to their own children.

So, what are you teaching your children? It isn't necessarily a pat answer. God made each of us differently, and we have our own way of relating to people and to God. We also, as adults, have the ability and the choice to overcome these lessons, if they were not taught well. But an absentee father may be teaching his child that God does not exist, or he may be teaching her that God created us, but then ignores us. If Daddy is obsessed with work, the little ones might grow up believing that God has "more important things" to think about than them. If Daddy is too permissive, the child may learn that God doesn't really care what we do. If Daddy is too critical, they may come to believe that God is the same way. Many people seem to see God as the "monster on the mountain"; distant and too busy for us, until we screw up, and then we can expect a harsh punishment. Sounds a bit like some overstressed fathers that I know.

If, on the other hand, the father is authoritative and loving, having time for the children and taking a keen interest in their lives, beyond what "directly effects" himself, the children will rightly come to see God as the loving, perfect, Father He is... caring about our lives and interests, and seeking a Father/child relationship with us.

As a home-schooling mother, I am keenly aware of what my children learn on a daily basis. It never struck me until relatively recently that there was so much more to these lessons than meet the eye. I wish someone had told me sooner. My children are still young, and so I will be striving to undo years of "misinformation". It is harder for adults to overcome these wrong lessons... but take heart... even if your child is 50, it is not too late.

The Mother's Lesson

Every mother teaches her children. This is true, even if she never sees them. We all, as mothers, get to choose what we teach them, but it would help if we knew how important those lessons are, and what they are. I believe that most mothers have no idea what they are actually teaching their children. This can set them up for failure. Just imagine you are a teacher at a school. You prepare your math lesson carefully, and teach your class to the best of your ability; only to find out afterwards that it was actually a grammar lesson. What kind of lesson did they learn? Did you use proper grammar? Did you model the English language well? Did you teach them all that you should have? Now imagine that the lesson was of vital importance, and would shape the children's entire lives. How would you feel?

I hope that this message will reach at least one person and make their life, and the lives of their children, and grandchildren, better. It is that important.

Mothers teach their children, whether they intend to or not, about the entire world. The way the mother acts, towards others, towards their father, and towards the child himself, shows the child the way people are "supposed" to act, how they are to treat others, how they are to react towards God, and how the world feels about that child. It doesn't matter that in reality, often time it is an inaccurate picture... it is still the lesson the child learns.

If a mother treats a child as though they are not good enough... that child will grow up feeling that the entire world feels that they are not good enough. This will follow them into their relationships with all others. In marriage, they will have an underlying feeling that their spouse doesn't think they are good enough... even if she has never once indicated such a thing. This is not to say that a mother should be the child's "cheerleader" or ego booster, always pleased, even if the child does wrong. To do this would undermine the child's character. This is not a "self-esteem building", "everybody's special", situation either. If the mother consistently lets the child know that she is pleased with his effort, he will learn that he can be good enough, and it gives him the strength, courage, and incentive to try.

If the mother neglects or harms the child, they will feel that they are on their own, and that people cannot be trusted. They will look to be hurt by everyone, and may even allow it, when a healthy sense of self-value would prevent it. If the mother is controlling, managing their entire life, the child learns that they aren't capable of doing anything properly, and need others to tell them how to live. If she abandons her child or if forced to be away from him, he comes to believe that people are unable or unwilling to be there for him. He also learns that he "must not be" important.

You see, far worse than what he learns about the rest of the world; the child also takes away the belief that there is something wrong with him. He quickly comes to believe that he is unworthy of respect, undeserving, inadequate, incapable, unlovable, and worthless.

However the mother is, is how the child, even as an adult, will believe people, deep down, really are. And however the child internalizes this belief determines how the child feels about himself, even all the way through his adulthood. One clear example of this particular point is that if you tell a child he is a "bad boy", he will live "up" to your expectations. Better to tell the child that you know he is a good boy, and that he needs to act like one. Boys, in particular, are strengthened by being made to control themselves.

Furthermore, if a mother treats the child's father with disrespect, the child learns (believe it or not) that God is unworthy of respect. Yes, these lesson can be unlearned, but it would be better not to have that hurdle to get over.

These unintended lessons are the very things people go to psychotherapy to undo. No mother wants to teach their child any of this, but sadly, many do, inadvertently. I have witnessed it many times, with knowledge of the cause. It is painful to see, but not impossible to prevent. No, it is quite easy to prevent, and never actually too late to overcome, with God's help.

If, as a mother, you made it a habit to keep forefront in your mind that you are constantly teaching your child that he is either worthy of respect, or unworthy; deserving of happiness, or undeserving; adequate as a person or inadequate, capable of making decisions or incapable, lovable or unlovable, and a person of value in the world, or worthless... if you keep these thoughts in your mind when you choose how to act and react with your child, you will be able to choose to teach him only good lessons. And you will help ensure that he grows up to be well adjusted and happy, no matter what life throws at him.

This is a gigantic responsibility. I understand it is an overwhelming prospect to think that you, as a mother, are in control of how your child's entire life will play out; that how you live is of such great importance that the fate of your children and grandchildren rests on your shoulders. Rest assured that if you take it seriously, and turn to Him, God will help you through it. He will bless you with strength and courage, so long as you look to Him for help. If you look to yourself, alone, you will fail. Denial will get you nowhere.

Your child is learning. The question is, what are you teaching him?

Borrowed Children

My sons' names both have the same meaning; "Gift of God". Actually it is a misnomer, but I couldn't find any names that meant "On Loan From God". See, our children are not really our own. They are entrusted to our care, and we are to raise them up to follow God closely, and have a relationship with Him. That is our entire job as a parent.

One thing I don't believe most people realize is that we, as parents, are teaching our children constantly, no matter what. They see us, hear us, and feel us. We give them messages about themselves, the world, and God, all of the time, whether we intend to or not. However, it is not the message we think we are giving. What we convey to our children is far more profound, and far more significant than what appears on the surface.

Our roles as mothers and fathers do far more than keep a child healthy, and help them to become functioning adults. They teach a child about their place in the world, who they are, and who God is, and how they should/can/do relate to Him. We cannot relinquish this role. It is entirely impossible.

God gave children 2 parents for a reason. We are entirely different people in nearly every way. This is because the lessons we teach are children are vastly different. We cannot trade with each other. The mother's role is the mother's, no matter what she might wish. The father's role is his, and he will fulfill it, either poorly or well, but he will fulfill it. You have no choice.

I'll use the next post or two to elaborate. Until then, see if you can guess what those roles might be. What one major lesson does each parent have to teach?

Curriculum

In my last post, I mentioned choosing a teaching style. I read up on all of them, and found a great number of useful things in many, if not all, of them. But none seemed to suit us perfectly. My two boys are polar opposites, personality wise, and what would work perfectly with one would be an utter failure with the other. So I was compelled to "wing it".

The only curriculums I have ever had was for phonics and language. I lacked confidence in teaching phonics, and was grateful for the help of a set curriculum, which BOTH of my boys adored. It's called Saxon Phonics. It gets poor reviews from some families, due to its lack of colorful pictures and its high level of repetition, but I believe it was those very things that helped us. It did wonders for my sons who both struggled with learning to read. My older boy didn't speak properly, - there were a number of letters he couldn't even begin to pronounce correctly - which made it nearly impossible for him to recognize a letter when he heard it. The younger one, well, he was only 3. Once we used Saxon (only years K-1 were necessary), they learned quickly and easily, and now they are reading well above grade level.

The other curriculum, one we use currently, is Latin Primer by Canon Press. I bought is because I don't speak Latin... yet. Oh, but let me take a moment to heap praises on this curriculum. It is amazingly easy to use. You just read a page or two of teacher's notes, to yourself, and pop the CD into a player. The teacher on the CD speaks the lesson for the week, with a student who repeats what she says. The child (and in our case the parent as well) repeats everything the teacher says. She gives vocabulary words, a weekly "chant" which helps you to remember all of those crazy conjugations, and a quote (but there appears to always be a "bonus" quote as well, which are a lot of fun to say). There is a page for the child to look at during the lesson, and then there is a worksheet (or several), and a weekly quiz. To help with the review during the week, there are flash cards with the latin word on one side, and the english translation on the other. There isn't a great deal of explanation of why the words are said one way or another - in latin word use changes the word entirely. But at young ages, children are more hindered than helped by lengthy explanations. This is a language they are learning, and even a baby can learn it. Youngsters are natural language sponges. In fact, you may find it slightly disturbing, as I did, when your little one hears an entire sentence in Latin, once, and rattles it off perfectly, while you can barely remember the first word. The lessons progress easily, and the knowledge increases rapidly. If we keep going at this rate (the one suggested by the curriculum, which is NOT considered accelerated, by any means), my sons will have 6 years of Latin under their belts by the time they are 14 and 12. At that point, they will be well equipped to study any other language that catches their fancy, and quite a bit in the areas of science and law will be laid opened to them.

It is our intention to also study Greek, and rather sooner than later - since I want my boys to be able to read the Bible without needing an English translation. So, we will be buying a curriculum for that as well. Any suggestions for good ones would be welcome. I would be grateful for it.

How To Begin...

I think there are plenty of websites and blogs out there to tell you how to get started in home-education. So, I'll just touch on a few things here, before moving on.

You can look up your state's individual laws on home-schooling at HSLDA, the Home School Legal Defense Association. This site has everything you need, legally, to get started. Yes, home-schooling is legal everywhere in the US. Some states look more favorably on home-schooling than others.

There are lots of "methods" you can use, but you don't have to do any of them. Read up on the various teaching styles (here's a jumping off point), and choose whichever one seems to suit you best; or take part of different ones and mix them together; or wing it. It really doesn't matter how you go about it, you will be fine in any case. If it turns out that the teaching style you chose isn't working for your child, change it, and do something else. Don't feel guilty if you have to discard months of prep work or hundreds of dollars in curriculum. Just consider it experience under your belt and water under the bridge. It would be far worse to stick with what doesn't work just for the sake of sticking with it. I've changed horses mid-stream a number of times. If anything, it invigorates our little home-school. You can always sell the curriculum or supplies if you truly don't want them (there is a huge market for them), or you could hold onto them if you feel that they are quite good, but just not right at the moment.

Remember there is no wrong time to start teaching your child at home. even halfway through 12th grade isn't too late. For families with little ones, it might be easiest to begin with "preschool lessons", so as to practice what you will be doing more formally later on. I started with my older son when he was 2.

In a later post I'll go over what we do... but I'll leave this post for the beginning.

Shelter and Protect

My boys are probably different from most. I've raised them that way intentionally. My parents raised me to believe that there is nothing particularly "good" about being "normal"; that "average" is not something to aspire to; that your mind is like a toolbox, and what you put in determines what you can do with your life.

To this end, I've carefully guarded my sons against negative influences. Some may gasp to hear that I am proud of "sheltering" my children, as though it is a bad thing to do. "You CAN'T shelter them!", I have heard time and again. Well, in my humble opinion, that is why God gave these boys to me, so I would shelter and protect them from the outside world until they were adequately equipped to deal with it.

This was a major influence in my decision to home educate my children, if it can be called a decision, since I never once felt comfortable with the idea of sending them to school. I wanted my children to have a happy childhood, but also to grow up to be good men who would be capable of, and willing to do, whatever God might lead them to do. While there is nothing truly evil about most things in life, there is also little worthwhile in much of that with which we often choose to fill our days. Most children's television programming is worthless, at best, and often harmful. We, being adults, probably don't usually even see its influence, but if you look at it with an eye towards protecting your children's innocence and modeling good behavior, much of it is appalling. Even "bubblegum" like Spongebob is harmful, in that it holds up sheer stupidity as something humorous and enjoyable. Those "funniest videos" programs that appear to be innocuous, teach children to find humor in the misfortune (and often pain) of others. Other shows display families as dysfunctional and petty, rife with sibling rivalry and bickering. While watching these shows may not cause your family to resemble them, over time, your children will become desensitized to such things, and will be far more likely to treat each other, and you, with disrespect. There is plenty of entertainment to be had, even on television, without allowing your children's character to suffer.

My boys like educational programming; the History Channel, Discovery Channel, etc., and animated movies. I pre-screen them, and weed out the inappropriate parts. It's not difficult, and the results are richly rewarding.

My sons do not, to this day, know what race is. They refer to people by their names, or if describing them, they will mention the color of their clothing, or what they were doing. They do not know, at this point, that there are people who would make assumptions about a person based on appearances. My sons look to the content of a person's character, always seeking the good in everyone. Is this remarkable? It shouldn't be. Every child is capable of it, if no one mars their innocence. Never having been taught that people can be racist, they will not be inured to it when they are confronted with it later on. As teenagers and adults, they will be capable of dealing with such issues with maturity.

With things that cannot be avoided, your loving, guiding, presence is a shield to protect them, while they learn how to be the people they should be. For example... My boys were at a playground one day, when they were 6 and 4, and had brought a ball along to play catch. They were running around, playing with a number of children, when a bigger boy showed up. He began bossing the children around, pushing them down, and, in my boys' case, taking their toys. When the boy took my sons' ball, NJ came over and sat down beside me, thoughtfully. He proceeded to tell me what I had already seen for myself. I explained to him that the boy couldn't dislike him, because he didn't know him, but if he did know him, he would have liked him anyway, because he is a nice boy. We talked about how God wants us to treat people, and how there is good to be found in everyone. Being reassured that it wasn't a shortcoming on his own part, NJ considered the situation for a bit, and then stood up saying that he knew what to do. He explained that the "bully" was probably just lonely, because he didn't have anyone to play with, but didn't know how to ask. NJ decided that he should ask the boy to play with him, and the others, so that the boy wouldn't feel uncomfortable or sad any more. NJ waited until the boy put down the ball, and then he picked it up himself, and asked him to play kickball. The boy readily agreed. Soon all of the children at the playground were playing kickball, including the former bully who was actually quite gentle and friendly once treated with kindness.

Home schooling is a wonderful opportunity to protect and guide your child until they are strong enough to face the world on their own. Had NJ been on his own at a school playground, would the end result have been the same? It's doubtful. As it stood, NJ received a valuable lesson in character, and the former bully at least saw the possibility of approaching people differently. Every instance that a potential bully is NOT rejected, is one more step closer to the confident, friendly, person they can be.

An interesting side note - a lady had been sitting next to us, on the bench, while NJ and I had our conversation about the boy. It turned out that she was the young fellow's grandmother. She gave me a rather kind look before she left. I wonder what must have gone through her mind as she overheard us talking?

Enthusiasm & Flexibility

So, yes, here we are, in July, "doing school", for lack of a more charming phrase. I let the boys have a vacation from math and grammar over the summer, in favor of more exciting subjects. Summer is for "fun school", my sons say. For them, fun is to be found in History, Science, Geography, Art, and Language. Often times, some of these very subjects can be seen as drudgery if approached as such, but around here, they are anything but work. After all, it is easiest to teach something when someone is eager to learn it. The trick is making it fun.

This starts with you, the teacher. You need to be excited and interested yourself. Find something in the subject that means a lot to you, and focus on conveying that, above all else, to your children. Make an effort to get a wide variety of materials to aid in teaching your subject; books, particularly ones with pictures, DVDs, CDs, the internet, flash cards, posters, coloring pages, puzzles, models, crafts, and field trips, all can be utilized to make lessons fun and interesting. The more you have, the better. Never assume your child will be bored or dislike learning. Children tend to live up, or down, to expectations. Act as though you KNOW he is going to love learning. Enthusiasm is contagious.

If, in spite of your efforts, a subject begins to feel like a chore or a bore, try to be flexible and patient. Try a new approach, or just take a break. Believe it or not, no harm will come from dropping it entirely for a few weeks, or even months if need be, to let the child (and you) recover from the (likely) "burn-out". When my one son got hung up on multiplication, and just couldn't seem to progress, he got frustrated and upset, and he began to dislike math. At first, this frustrated me as well, and for a few weeks, I struggled with getting him to focus. Then I realized that while I was wasting time trying to get him to study something he didn't want to learn, I was losing a great opportunity to turn his attention and energy elsewhere. So, I dropped mathematics entirely for 3 months while I turned his focus to fine tuning his reading skills and studying history and geography. (I had done this previously with him when he was a first grader, for a solid year, so it was no big deal to me.) At the end of that time, I bought my son a colorful math workbook (with a CD-Rom of math games), and a number of other math books - geometry, measuring, fractions, etc. - along with a pencil set with a ruler, protractor, and compass. With that, he was eagerly off and running with his math, mastering not only the multiplication he had so struggled with before, but easily conquering division, fractions, and geometry. He would complain when the school day was over, and ask to do extra pages just for fun. He progressed through 2 grade levels in a matter of a few months. I could easily have insisted that he muddle through his math while it was hard for him, imagining that one has to work hard to learn something, but my being flexible allowed him to learn it in his own time, with little effort, and much enthusiasm.

Summer School?

You might be wondering, why would anyone start a blog about home-schooling in July? Well, that's one of the beauties of home educating your children... you don't have to follow the crowd. If you want to teach your children through the whole year, and allow them to get ahead of their peers, you can do that. If you want to take the entire month of December off to enjoy the festive season as a family, you can do that. The options are as varied as your imagination.

Our family doesn't take the summer months off. This has allowed our boys to get far enough ahead (not having to deal with the review part of school that often takes a couple of months to get through) that we can take time off in December to bake cookies and do family things. Don't feel sorry for the children though... They enjoy their lessons thoroughly, and are eager learners. There is still plenty of time in each day to have fun. Last week we went swimming 4 or 5 times (about 14 hours total swimming), and still had time on the weekend to go to a cook-out, and have a day of rest. It's all in how you manage your time. Prioritize, and you can accomplish just about anything. Does this mean I have it "all together" and that my house is spotless while my children are well educated, and fancy dinners are cooked every night? The short answer is, no. Not every day anyway. Usually it's the housekeeping that falls by the wayside while the family is well fed and educated. I've noticed that dishes don't get upset and leave if you ignore them for a day. They'll still be there tomorrow. (Unfortunately.) Just do what's really important. Your children are only young once.

To Come...

I have been trying to think of ways to make the prospect of home education less daunting. I had also thought perhaps I could ease someone else's burden of creating a curriculum by posting mine, as it forms. And then, maybe, someone might want to know what a day in the life of a home-schooling family looks like.

To these ends, I will be posting our various lessons and ideas, as they come along. As I mentioned before, I'm really rather laid back... so, beyond a general "direction" our studies are taking, I have no set plans. We take it as it comes, and embrace life while it's here.

Helpful Intentions

I didn't really think about the fact that many families struggle to even begin to educate their children at home, let alone create their own curriculum shaped to fit their children's needs, strengths, and desires. This isn't due to lack of ability or education on their part. Sadly, it is a by-product of our society that has taught us to respect the "authority" of professionals, even when the "professional" is less knowledgable than we are. We think of teaching our children, and immediately we conjure up images of the perfect little classroom with the chalk-board at the front, and the desks all in a row. We think of the "all-knowing" teachers we had, growing up, and imagine all that must have been learned by new teachers since then. Our minds race from the charming thoughts of alphabets and nursery rhymes to the horrors of "How am I ever going to teach calculus???" Even I went there briefly. When I realized I had sorrowful tears in my eyes from thinking about my, then, newborn baby having moved on to college, I snapped out of it.

Mind you, I have nothing against teachers. I know a number of them. (Oddly, they all say they wish they could home-school their own children, but that they don't have the patience. Do they really have more patience for strangers' children than they do for their own?) I admire their interest in educating people's children. It's just that all of their education to prepare them to teach "children" cannot possibly grant them the ability to do a better job than a loving, devoted parent can do for their OWN children.

The truth of the matter is, if you are literate (and since you are reading this, you have to be), you are qualified to teach your children. Not just qualified, in fact, you are the best possible teacher, for your child, in the entire world. No paid "expert" will ever know your child, with all his various abilities, weaknesses, strengths, interests, and needs, as well as you do! This knowledge inherently makes you an excellent teacher, if you have the desire to be one. You just need confidence. Remember, children are resilient. They can easily "recover" (if necessary) from any educational mishap that may befall them during their years of study. Home education is no different than the rest of your life. No one is perfect. You can expect to fail at some point, or even many times. Pick yourself up, correct the problem if possible, and move on. I once, accidentally, called a mushroom a "marshmallow" when I was teaching my younger boy about how mushrooms grow. (Okay, it was more like a bad habit, I did it 3 times in a row, in one conversation, and even did it again, later.) That blunder haunted me for two years as he would say "marshmallow" when he meant "mushroom". Nevertheless, he still understood the life cycle of a mushroom and has since learned their correct name. When we think of our mistakes, their significance seems to mushroom (or is that marshmallow?) out of all proportion, and we feel inadequate. Rest assured... if you can handle being a parent to your little one, you can handle teaching him. After all, you are already teaching him... they don't learn to talk by themselves.

To allow someone else the pleasure of teaching your children, is to rob yourself of the delight of being the one who introduces all of the world to them. There is nothing equal to the sight of your child learning something new that excites and invigorates them, making them eager to learn more. This doesn't happen that often in a government-run school, where it is fashionable to be jaded and indifferent. At home, children never learn that being intelligent is "un-cool". They also never learn to bully or exclude others, or to be racist or rude, but that is for another post, another time.

My point is... you CAN do it. Be brave. Jump in with both feet. Don't worry about "failure". Even if you fail miserably, you will still do a better job than the government can.

Joyful Work

When you love something enough, it ceases to be work, and becomes a joy.

Children are that way. It doesn't matter how many diapers you must change, or meals you have to prepare, or squabbles you have to referee... You love the little (and not-so-little) ones so much, that you overlook it all; and instead, choose to see their rosy cheeks while they peacefully sleep, hear their "I love you, Mama", and relish their wide-eyed wonder at the world as you introduce it to them.

Boy, I love mine. Yes, I think they are as perfect as children can be, and still be human. I'm sure I'm biased. Yours are probably perfect too. Or maybe they aren't. Nonetheless, we love them dearly, and so it is a joy to work for them.

One of my greatest joys (jobs) is teaching my children at home. I have two boys, NJ (age 8) and IC (age 6). I've been teaching my children, formally, since NJ was 2. IC started even earlier, since he always wanted to copy his brother. I always knew I was going to teach them myself. I knew it was what God wanted for our family, and I knew it would be best for us all. What I didn't know was how fun it was going to be. At times it is difficult, usually due to impatience on my part. At other times it's blissfully easy. It's amazing what you can accomplish when your children are powerfully interested in learning something. But it is always rewarding and enjoyable.

It only just occurred to me that I tend to take this for granted. Having been taught at home myself, from the age of 10, upwards, the idea of home education was neither alien nor daunting. It comes easy to me, and I am not flustered if I discover I have neglected some area of my boys' education. In fact, I was content to "throw away" all mathematics study for an entire year when I felt that they weren't ready for it. Once we picked them back up again, they made up for all lost time, and then some. Part of this is, perhaps, due to my generally "laid back" attitude towards life. I don't stress about much. Life is pretty good. I plan on enjoying it.