Home Economics

I always pretty much knew when I would start teaching my little guys how to cook. My parents had a plan, and I adopted it.

When my mother got married, she was 17. She never had to do any housework, growing up, much less cooking. You know those movies where the girl gets married, with the idea of blissful home-making that comes crashing down around her in the first couple of days, and you finally see her sitting on the floor sobbing because she hasn't a clue what she's doing, and the last straw is dinner is on fire? Yeah, that was my mom.

My dad, on the other hand, had been taught by his mother when he was young. He knew everything there was to know about shopping, cooking, keeping house, et cetera. He wasn't so great at "ordinary" dinners (like timing the beans to be done at the same time as the ham), but with fancy one-dish dinners, like spaghetti, he excelled. So, dad taught mom how to cook.

So, when they had their many children, they knew for certain that they weren't going to let the girls go through what my mom did. They were going to learn to cook, and cook everything well. And just in case the boys found inexperienced wives, themselves, the boys had to learn as well. Each child, when they turned 9, was taught how to cook. I have fond memories of making pancakes all by myself, cooking my first fancy dinner, burning myself on the stove for the first time... and we have photos of my younger siblings during their first forays in the kitchen.

Today, all 8 children are excellent cooks (if I do say so myself). The girls' husbands or "significant others" were all pleasantly surprised that their new wife or girlfriend could handle herself well in the kitchen, and could cook anything she wanted. Even better, the boys' wives all found, to their immense delight, that their husbands not only could fend for themselves if need be, but often was the better chef, and indeed enjoyed cooking meals for the family. The older two boys had to teach their wives how to cook, as they were just as inexperienced as our mother.

So, I always planned to teach my boys to cook when they turned 9. They've been helping me in the kitchen all their lives, and have made numerous batches of cookies and brownies. I handled the oven part of it.

I did not take into account how eager my sons were to learn, however. So, even though NJ is only 8, he is learning to cook. Hand in hand with the cooking lessons are lessons in how to select fresh foods, plan ahead for meals, and not get fooled by advertising or sales. IC is just as eager, but he is only 6, so he can't do as much. He hovers over us while we cook, soaking up information, and begging to be allowed to do various little things. I let him do whatever he can, and he's happy with that.

Yesterday, NJ cooked his first dinner, albeit not entirely on his own. Help comes first, then supervision. We're in the "help" stage. He made grilled pork chops, rice, green beans, iced tea, and the little crescent rolls that come in a can. (Some times you have to take the easy route so as not to get over-whelmed.) He was so proud of himself; how he lit the grill by himself and cooked the pork chops, while also managing to help with everything else.

Today we'll be going to the grocery store, so he can learn how to shop, and he can choose what foods he'd like to try cooking next. He's excited to learn, and to help. Already he's looking forward to the day that I ask him to "go cook dinner" and I don't have to help.

I hadn't even thought about that aspect of it, and I hadn't realized how much fun it would be to teach them to cook. I just thought I was going to be equipping them for the future. I guess that's one more way that teaching your children is a blessing. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything.

History Can Be Thrilling!

Summers here are extra busy. During the "school year", we are usually found at home with our noses in a book, or doing some craft project or whatever have you...

But once "school lets out", we are off and running, hither and yon, to the point that my boys seem to think we must be doing something special each and every day. And they're not far from correct.

We don't take off for the summer months, like most people. We are year-round educators. Our approach to lessons during the summer months, however, is radically different from the rest of the year. It's beautiful outside, and we don't like to be cooped up. So, we take a lot of field trips, and do a lot of family activities together. We also delve far more deeply into just a couple of favorite subjects, and allow ourselves time to really enjoy learning everything about them.

The particular favorite this year is Ancient Greek History. We began studying the Ancient Aegeans. I suppose we should have started with Egypt... but the boys wanted to learn about the Greeks and Romans. I will have to make time later to back up to the Egyptians. They are, indeed, interesting; they just didn't "fit us" right now.

We are primarily using stories. Since no study of ancient Greece could possibly be complete without learning about their myths, gods, and goddesses, they are included. The most interesting thing that I have learned so far was that, apparently, the Greeks were a primitive people, dwelling in caves, before the Egyptians came along and taught them how to build and farm. The Greeks, being highly intelligent, caught on easily, and improved greatly on what they had learned. A series of catastrophic events killed off so many of the Greeks that they no longer had the knowledge they had possessed previously, and so they forgot who had built the impressive walls and such, or how farming began. This, put together with their Egyptian-born tendency to worship a number of gods, led them to make up a large number of myths attributing their own ancestors' accomplishments to the creatures, gods, or goddesses of choice. (It appears that answering a question with "I don't know" was not an option for them.) Many of the Greek myths had at least a grain of truth to them. It is fascinating to explore the stories and try to figure out which parts were probably true.

We use one actual book: Famous Men of Greece by John H. Haaren and A. B. Poland, but you don't even need to buy it. Being a very old book (which, when it comes to teaching ancient history, is a very good thing) you can find it, complete, online - FREE!

So far, this is my favorite home-school resource: Heritage History - Putting the Story back into History. You probably won't find a better source for free history lessons. This is far better than any dry, "old", text-book history. It is a site devoted to making history interesting for children, by taking a story-based approach, which technically pre-dates the "textbook" approach. My favorite part of the site is the books, themselves. I knew about this site from having researched the history of Britain. Did you know that the history of Britain is "thrilling"?

My boys studied British history through this site alone. Imagine your children being so excited about studying history that they beg you to read a 3rd story after you just told them to go play. Imagine them abandoning video games in favor of acting out the history stories in the back yard after school. Imagine them telling all of their friends and relatives, and even a few strangers all about the thrilling things they learned in history this week. Imagine them learning truths such as "he, who does not learn from history, is doomed to repeat it", naturally, from observing history, as opposed to having to be "taught" it by rote. Imagine your children enjoying history so much that they remember everything you taught them. I say these things from experience.

So, when it came time to study Ancient Greece, I knew right where to look. We are currently reading Famous Men of Greece (mentioned above), along with "The Story of the Greeks" by Helene A. Guerber, and "The Story of Greece" by Mary Macgregor. We use all three because they are each written differently, each having its own strengths and weaknesses. If there are story overlaps, before each lesson I look over the three books and choose which one (or more) I will read from for that particular story.

In addition to these online books, we also borrow prodigiously from the library. I can't possibly list all that we've borrowed. But a few that really stood out were the "Primary Sources of Ancient Civilizations: Greece" series by Melanie Ann Apel. They cover Art and Religion, Economy and Industry, Home Life, Land and Resources, Politics and Government, and Technology in ancient Greece, all in an easy-to-read format (I'm guessing 3rd grade?) with bright photographs of artifacts. There is also "Kids in Ancient Greece" by Lisa Wroble. Its format is slightly easier, perhaps a 2nd grade level, and contains photos and lovely drawings. We also used a few books like the "Eyewitness" series, which contain a myriad of pictures and facts. Eight-year-old NJ is currently reading "Theras and His Town" by Caroline Dale Snedeker. I have been told it is a 5th grade + reading level, but NJ reads it rather easily, so perhaps other young ones could manage it too.

To round out our study of ancient Greece, we borrowed books on "The Buildings of Ancient Greece", including one with that very title, by Helen and Richard Leacroft. I particularly enjoyed the fact that it contained cut-aways and highly detailed drawings of how the buildings were constructed, rather than just an overview of the finished product. We also studied their art (couldn't leave that out, now could we?) by online studies, and a couple of delightful craft books. The website we used (aside from Google Images) is called Art History Resources on the Web, and it can be used just about any art history study. There is no "lesson plan" there, just a well-laid-out site filled with information and photos of art of all kinds, arranged according to time period and society. It is connected to "Wikimedia Commons" (off to the right side, once you choose a period or society to study) which contains a wide array of art, organized into easily navigable groups. Lovely things!

The craft books were a big hit with my sons. We have two, both borrowed, but I enjoyed one so much that I have purchase it from Amazon.com. The first book is called, "The Crafts and Culture of the Ancient Greeks", by Joann Jovinelly and Jason Netelkos. I haven't bought that one - yet. We are only using 3 of the 8 projects in the book... but it will still be worth the $5 or so it will cost to get it "used". The projects include a Trojan Horse, Tragedy/Comedy Masks, an Abacus, Jewelry, Black and Red Pottery and a box modeled after the Parthenon. It is arranged chronologically, which makes it handy for the study of Greek art history.

The second book is less sophisticated than the first, but it has so much that little children can do that it has become a favorite book in our house (at least while we study Greece). It is called"Crafts From the Past - The Greeks" by Gillian Chapman. (I wouldn't get the "Chik-fil-a" version... it was just the only one that had a picture.) Unfortunately it is not arranged chronologically, but that is the book's only shortcoming. Of the 14 projects featured, we are only doing 8... but they are really nice. The crafts are representative of not just the Greeks themselves, but also the Aegean peoples from whom they descended. There are Cycladic sculptures (oddly, the last project in the book, instead of the first), and Minoan bulls (oh, so adorable!). There is a "fresco" (ok, so you have to wait until it's dry to paint it, but it's close enough) modeled, quite nicely, after the real thing in the palace of Knossos. It has labyrinths and terra-cotta toys, masks, helmets, and "pottery", and so on. All will fit perfectly into our art history studies. All we need now is a Hellenistic sculpture a little kid can do, and we are set for the summer! Okay, yeah, that last one is a stretch... that's probably why it was not included in the books. I think I'll have them try their hands at soap sculpting. It's as close as we will be getting at this age.

As if all that wasn't enough... we do go on! We are also reading a book about modern Greece, just to get some perspective. It's called, "Welcome to Greece" by Meredith Costain and Paul Collins, And, we're trying some Greek food. No, it's probably not ancient Greek food... but much of that has gone bad or been eaten by now. :Snicker: So, we'll make do with Souvlakia (lamb kebob sandwiches on pita) and Spanakopita (spinach pie), and of course, Baklava. (Yum!) We tried greek yogurt this morning. I am in love! The boys... not so much. I will be eating a lot of that in the future. They will be making faces at me while I do.

Aaaaaand... we are also watching DVDs about Greek history. Schlessinger Media has a whole heap of completely awesome DVDs; we can't get enough. They are wholly out of our price range, but the library has plenty. The history ones are "Ancient Civilizations for Children". There is one on the Aegeans and one on the Greeks. There is also a set of physical science ones that we love... but that's for another post.

To top it all off... is a part my boys don't yet know about. I prefer that the things my children study mean something to them; that they have a connection to them in some way. In our study of Britain, we were studying our ancestors (Henry IV was a grandfather), and so the connection was automatic. With Greece, it's not so easy. So, I went onto eBay, and found some ancient greek coins, from 500-400 BC, to give them as gifts, or prizes, if you will. They weren't all that expensive, in the scheme of things; $20-30. If I had a classroom of 30 kids, there is no chance of doing this. But with only 2 children to buy for, it was a little thing that will mean a great deal to them. True, I'll have to oversee them to keep the 2500 year old coins from being lost or laundered, but I already have to do that with their shell and rock collections.

In total, our entire "history course" and "art history course" cost about $70, including the coins and art supplies... not bad for an entire year for 2 children.

I'd love to hear what you are doing to make your lessons exciting. Please comment. I'm always open to new ideas.

The Fathers' Lesson

In my previous post, I laid out the lessons that mothers teach their children. While many mothers may not be aware of the lessons they teach their sons and daughters, for the most part, the idea of being "the world", to their children, would not take most parents by surprise. However, I would wager (ok, not really, I don't bet, ever) that very few people are aware of the lesson that fathers each their children.

Now, considering the great duty of mothers in raising up their children, it may appear that the father's only roles are those of protector, provider, and leader. Now these are heavy enough responsibilities, all by themselves, but God gave men a far greater task. He gave fathers just one lesson to teach their sons and daughters... can you guess it?

What do fathers teach their children? What one lesson do children learn from fathers, even if they never even meet them; even if they are absentee, or "workaholics", or devoted stay-at-home-ers? If you ask people what lessons do fathers teach, you might get answers like, "caring for their family", "work ethics", "morals", "how to be a man", "how to choose a husband", or even possibly, "how to be a good Christian"... but none of these are THE lesson.

No, the answer is far more significant. Look to God for your support, men, so you are not crushed under the weight of this responsibility. Through His help is the only way you can hope to teach this lesson well.

Men, while your wives represent the world to your children (and who they are in it), you representGod. Yes, as imperfect as you are (and aren't we all?) you are daily teaching your child who God is. Even an atheist father is representing God to his child. You can't help it. You can't avoid it. You are representing God to your children. Right now. Yesterday. Tomorrow. In everything you do, in ever choice you make, in every word you say, you stand in God's place in your family, showing your children who God really is. The question is, are you representing Him well?

Now, this is in no way saying that you are expected to be perfect, to show that God is perfect. It suffices to say that God is perfect, and we are not. What you are modeling is God's character, and His relationship with your child. Remember that God calls Himself our Father. We are His children. It follows rather easily then, that He would use earthly fathers to represent Him to their own children.

So, what are you teaching your children? It isn't necessarily a pat answer. God made each of us differently, and we have our own way of relating to people and to God. We also, as adults, have the ability and the choice to overcome these lessons, if they were not taught well. But an absentee father may be teaching his child that God does not exist, or he may be teaching her that God created us, but then ignores us. If Daddy is obsessed with work, the little ones might grow up believing that God has "more important things" to think about than them. If Daddy is too permissive, the child may learn that God doesn't really care what we do. If Daddy is too critical, they may come to believe that God is the same way. Many people seem to see God as the "monster on the mountain"; distant and too busy for us, until we screw up, and then we can expect a harsh punishment. Sounds a bit like some overstressed fathers that I know.

If, on the other hand, the father is authoritative and loving, having time for the children and taking a keen interest in their lives, beyond what "directly effects" himself, the children will rightly come to see God as the loving, perfect, Father He is... caring about our lives and interests, and seeking a Father/child relationship with us.

As a home-schooling mother, I am keenly aware of what my children learn on a daily basis. It never struck me until relatively recently that there was so much more to these lessons than meet the eye. I wish someone had told me sooner. My children are still young, and so I will be striving to undo years of "misinformation". It is harder for adults to overcome these wrong lessons... but take heart... even if your child is 50, it is not too late.

The Mother's Lesson

Every mother teaches her children. This is true, even if she never sees them. We all, as mothers, get to choose what we teach them, but it would help if we knew how important those lessons are, and what they are. I believe that most mothers have no idea what they are actually teaching their children. This can set them up for failure. Just imagine you are a teacher at a school. You prepare your math lesson carefully, and teach your class to the best of your ability; only to find out afterwards that it was actually a grammar lesson. What kind of lesson did they learn? Did you use proper grammar? Did you model the English language well? Did you teach them all that you should have? Now imagine that the lesson was of vital importance, and would shape the children's entire lives. How would you feel?

I hope that this message will reach at least one person and make their life, and the lives of their children, and grandchildren, better. It is that important.

Mothers teach their children, whether they intend to or not, about the entire world. The way the mother acts, towards others, towards their father, and towards the child himself, shows the child the way people are "supposed" to act, how they are to treat others, how they are to react towards God, and how the world feels about that child. It doesn't matter that in reality, often time it is an inaccurate picture... it is still the lesson the child learns.

If a mother treats a child as though they are not good enough... that child will grow up feeling that the entire world feels that they are not good enough. This will follow them into their relationships with all others. In marriage, they will have an underlying feeling that their spouse doesn't think they are good enough... even if she has never once indicated such a thing. This is not to say that a mother should be the child's "cheerleader" or ego booster, always pleased, even if the child does wrong. To do this would undermine the child's character. This is not a "self-esteem building", "everybody's special", situation either. If the mother consistently lets the child know that she is pleased with his effort, he will learn that he can be good enough, and it gives him the strength, courage, and incentive to try.

If the mother neglects or harms the child, they will feel that they are on their own, and that people cannot be trusted. They will look to be hurt by everyone, and may even allow it, when a healthy sense of self-value would prevent it. If the mother is controlling, managing their entire life, the child learns that they aren't capable of doing anything properly, and need others to tell them how to live. If she abandons her child or if forced to be away from him, he comes to believe that people are unable or unwilling to be there for him. He also learns that he "must not be" important.

You see, far worse than what he learns about the rest of the world; the child also takes away the belief that there is something wrong with him. He quickly comes to believe that he is unworthy of respect, undeserving, inadequate, incapable, unlovable, and worthless.

However the mother is, is how the child, even as an adult, will believe people, deep down, really are. And however the child internalizes this belief determines how the child feels about himself, even all the way through his adulthood. One clear example of this particular point is that if you tell a child he is a "bad boy", he will live "up" to your expectations. Better to tell the child that you know he is a good boy, and that he needs to act like one. Boys, in particular, are strengthened by being made to control themselves.

Furthermore, if a mother treats the child's father with disrespect, the child learns (believe it or not) that God is unworthy of respect. Yes, these lesson can be unlearned, but it would be better not to have that hurdle to get over.

These unintended lessons are the very things people go to psychotherapy to undo. No mother wants to teach their child any of this, but sadly, many do, inadvertently. I have witnessed it many times, with knowledge of the cause. It is painful to see, but not impossible to prevent. No, it is quite easy to prevent, and never actually too late to overcome, with God's help.

If, as a mother, you made it a habit to keep forefront in your mind that you are constantly teaching your child that he is either worthy of respect, or unworthy; deserving of happiness, or undeserving; adequate as a person or inadequate, capable of making decisions or incapable, lovable or unlovable, and a person of value in the world, or worthless... if you keep these thoughts in your mind when you choose how to act and react with your child, you will be able to choose to teach him only good lessons. And you will help ensure that he grows up to be well adjusted and happy, no matter what life throws at him.

This is a gigantic responsibility. I understand it is an overwhelming prospect to think that you, as a mother, are in control of how your child's entire life will play out; that how you live is of such great importance that the fate of your children and grandchildren rests on your shoulders. Rest assured that if you take it seriously, and turn to Him, God will help you through it. He will bless you with strength and courage, so long as you look to Him for help. If you look to yourself, alone, you will fail. Denial will get you nowhere.

Your child is learning. The question is, what are you teaching him?

Borrowed Children

My sons' names both have the same meaning; "Gift of God". Actually it is a misnomer, but I couldn't find any names that meant "On Loan From God". See, our children are not really our own. They are entrusted to our care, and we are to raise them up to follow God closely, and have a relationship with Him. That is our entire job as a parent.

One thing I don't believe most people realize is that we, as parents, are teaching our children constantly, no matter what. They see us, hear us, and feel us. We give them messages about themselves, the world, and God, all of the time, whether we intend to or not. However, it is not the message we think we are giving. What we convey to our children is far more profound, and far more significant than what appears on the surface.

Our roles as mothers and fathers do far more than keep a child healthy, and help them to become functioning adults. They teach a child about their place in the world, who they are, and who God is, and how they should/can/do relate to Him. We cannot relinquish this role. It is entirely impossible.

God gave children 2 parents for a reason. We are entirely different people in nearly every way. This is because the lessons we teach are children are vastly different. We cannot trade with each other. The mother's role is the mother's, no matter what she might wish. The father's role is his, and he will fulfill it, either poorly or well, but he will fulfill it. You have no choice.

I'll use the next post or two to elaborate. Until then, see if you can guess what those roles might be. What one major lesson does each parent have to teach?

Curriculum

In my last post, I mentioned choosing a teaching style. I read up on all of them, and found a great number of useful things in many, if not all, of them. But none seemed to suit us perfectly. My two boys are polar opposites, personality wise, and what would work perfectly with one would be an utter failure with the other. So I was compelled to "wing it".

The only curriculums I have ever had was for phonics and language. I lacked confidence in teaching phonics, and was grateful for the help of a set curriculum, which BOTH of my boys adored. It's called Saxon Phonics. It gets poor reviews from some families, due to its lack of colorful pictures and its high level of repetition, but I believe it was those very things that helped us. It did wonders for my sons who both struggled with learning to read. My older boy didn't speak properly, - there were a number of letters he couldn't even begin to pronounce correctly - which made it nearly impossible for him to recognize a letter when he heard it. The younger one, well, he was only 3. Once we used Saxon (only years K-1 were necessary), they learned quickly and easily, and now they are reading well above grade level.

The other curriculum, one we use currently, is Latin Primer by Canon Press. I bought is because I don't speak Latin... yet. Oh, but let me take a moment to heap praises on this curriculum. It is amazingly easy to use. You just read a page or two of teacher's notes, to yourself, and pop the CD into a player. The teacher on the CD speaks the lesson for the week, with a student who repeats what she says. The child (and in our case the parent as well) repeats everything the teacher says. She gives vocabulary words, a weekly "chant" which helps you to remember all of those crazy conjugations, and a quote (but there appears to always be a "bonus" quote as well, which are a lot of fun to say). There is a page for the child to look at during the lesson, and then there is a worksheet (or several), and a weekly quiz. To help with the review during the week, there are flash cards with the latin word on one side, and the english translation on the other. There isn't a great deal of explanation of why the words are said one way or another - in latin word use changes the word entirely. But at young ages, children are more hindered than helped by lengthy explanations. This is a language they are learning, and even a baby can learn it. Youngsters are natural language sponges. In fact, you may find it slightly disturbing, as I did, when your little one hears an entire sentence in Latin, once, and rattles it off perfectly, while you can barely remember the first word. The lessons progress easily, and the knowledge increases rapidly. If we keep going at this rate (the one suggested by the curriculum, which is NOT considered accelerated, by any means), my sons will have 6 years of Latin under their belts by the time they are 14 and 12. At that point, they will be well equipped to study any other language that catches their fancy, and quite a bit in the areas of science and law will be laid opened to them.

It is our intention to also study Greek, and rather sooner than later - since I want my boys to be able to read the Bible without needing an English translation. So, we will be buying a curriculum for that as well. Any suggestions for good ones would be welcome. I would be grateful for it.

How To Begin...

I think there are plenty of websites and blogs out there to tell you how to get started in home-education. So, I'll just touch on a few things here, before moving on.

You can look up your state's individual laws on home-schooling at HSLDA, the Home School Legal Defense Association. This site has everything you need, legally, to get started. Yes, home-schooling is legal everywhere in the US. Some states look more favorably on home-schooling than others.

There are lots of "methods" you can use, but you don't have to do any of them. Read up on the various teaching styles (here's a jumping off point), and choose whichever one seems to suit you best; or take part of different ones and mix them together; or wing it. It really doesn't matter how you go about it, you will be fine in any case. If it turns out that the teaching style you chose isn't working for your child, change it, and do something else. Don't feel guilty if you have to discard months of prep work or hundreds of dollars in curriculum. Just consider it experience under your belt and water under the bridge. It would be far worse to stick with what doesn't work just for the sake of sticking with it. I've changed horses mid-stream a number of times. If anything, it invigorates our little home-school. You can always sell the curriculum or supplies if you truly don't want them (there is a huge market for them), or you could hold onto them if you feel that they are quite good, but just not right at the moment.

Remember there is no wrong time to start teaching your child at home. even halfway through 12th grade isn't too late. For families with little ones, it might be easiest to begin with "preschool lessons", so as to practice what you will be doing more formally later on. I started with my older son when he was 2.

In a later post I'll go over what we do... but I'll leave this post for the beginning.